There’s an idea that’s been floating around and it’s that people have to like you for you to be able to make sales.
The idea that in order for you to be able to sell something to someone, they have to feel like they’re your “friend”.
That you guys are like family, perhaps.
In other words, they really need to like your little “cute personality” in order to even consider doing business with you.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
So let’s go about busting this myth once and for all.
Have you ever heard the saying, “People have to know, like and trust you in order to buy from you?”
I don’t know how many times a month I hear this being said.
Now, the tricky thing about this frequently used sentence is that some of it is right but some of it is wrong.
The part that’s wrong is VERY wrong.
The prospect needs to know you
Of course, your ideal prospect has to know you.
I mean, they can’t do business with you if they have not seen you, or know that you provide the solution to their particular problem.
So getting out of obscurity is a good thing.
You’ve got to get out of obscurity, out of darkness so that people can see you.
It is SUPER important.
For example, all it takes for you to “know” me is for you to stumble upon something that I’ve written or one of my videos. If you’re reading this right now, you know about me.
So you know me enough to recognize that my products or services can help solve your problem. You don’t need to know my favorite color or food.
But you can’t and won’t spend any money with me if you don’t know about me, my products or my services.
That’s a given.
The “like and “trust” factors
Let’s talk about the “like” part of that sentence…
Did you know that you go to a lot of movies where you don’t even like the actor? You actually don’t even know his personality and whether or not you like him/her or not.
You just know that they can deliver on the damn goods!
You don’t know if you like Tom Hanks.
You have no idea if you like Leo Di Caprio, or not.
Because you don’t know them. You’ve never met them in person.
But what you do know is that Leo can deliver a good show.
His movies are always good.
When he steps up to the plate, he always hits it.
He knows how to pick a script. But you don’t know if you like him in real life.
Who knows, maybe he wants to save the dolphins and you don’t care about dolphins at all.
But what you do know is that he can deliver on a good-ass movie.
He has that TRUST factor when it comes to his expertise in the film industry.
That type of trust is what you have in, what I like to call, ICONIC operational Sales.
You have the trust factor because you’re seen at the top of the pyramid.
You’re recognized as the ICON of your industry, the best of the best.
Because you have your ‘Digital House” in order. Your posturing is right and on point. All of your imaging, videos and so on, are all framed properly.
You look like your somebody that can deliver a great product or service.
The good thing is that you don’t need a massive amount of people to know you because if you are somebody to anybody, you’re somebody.
If you know more than your prospect in your specific niche, then you’re somebody to them.
Because you have your ‘Digital House” in order. Your posturing is right and on point. It’s all framed properly.
You look like your somebody. And if you don’t look like your somebody, then you aren’t anybody.
But, if you are somebody to anybody you’re somebody.
And if you know more than your prospect then you’re somebody to them.
I’ve repeatedly given the example of the drowning billionaire in these series of myths. Because a lot of you reading this probably have inky winky, little self-concepts.
You feel lower, or less than the people that you’re selling to. So you need to be reminded that it doesn’t matter.
This is often the case. So if you remember the drowning billionaire out there in the ocean, understand that his billions of dollars are not helping him at the moment.
He’s out there and you’re on the boat, all cozy – maybe you’re even having a margarita.
And he’s crying out, “Help me!” “Help me!”
He sees you, he knows you…he probably doesn’t LIKE you because you’re probably a flake and he’s a billionaire. He’s a high performer and doesn’t KNOW you, in the way that you often think about knowing.
But, he sees that life saver ring in your hand. He trusts that it will work.
He trusts that you have the solution!
Do you understand what I’m saying?
The drowning billionaire
I’ve repeatedly given the example of the drowning billionaire in these series of myths.
Because a lot of you reading this probably struggle with self-doubt, or a low self-concept.
You might feel lower, or less, than the people that you’re selling to.
So you need to be reminded that it doesn’t matter what kind of money or status your prospect has because if you have something that they want and need, you are in a position to be able to help them.
Understand that the billionaire’s billions of dollars are not helping him when he’s out in the water trying to stay alive.
He’s drowning and you’re the one on the boat with the complete solution to his problem. You might have $20 in the bank but in this case, you’ve got the very thing he needs.
He probably doesn’t like you, which doesn’t change his mind about needing your help.
He sees that life saver ring in your hand and trusts that it will work.
He trusts that you have the solution!
Do you understand what I’m saying?
You do need to inspire trust in your prospects. But it has very little to do with liking you.
It boils down to a principle I talk about a lot. It’s the principle of certainty in sales.
You see, selling is leadership.
And leadership is getting people to do what you want to do, when you want them to do it.
If you have so much certainty that it trumps the other person’s certainty, they will follow you 100% of the time.
So when you’re standing on the boat, you have all the posturing, all of the altitude, and you have the certainty that you’re able to rescue a drowning person.
The billionaire doesn’t know if your boat is sinking. He doesn’t know you and if you’re perhaps even a terrorist. He sees you but he doesn’t know if you could actually save him.
You could actually shoot him dead in the water.
He doesn’t know that.
But you have the appearance of somebody that could help him and you inspire confidence in that billionaire.
In that moment, that’s what he needed. He didn’t ask a lot of questions. You were at the right place at the right time.
If you get a lot of questions from your prospects it just means that they don’t have enough certainty in your ability to help them.
You haven’t inspired confidence in them Your posturing is not “ICONIC”.
Of course some questions are normal and healthy in a sales encounter. But a large amount of doubt coming from your prospect is a sign that you need more ICON status.
Do you know when you’ve achieved ICON status?
You’ve achieved that level of status when people just know that when you’re involved, it’s good.
That’s all they need to know.
Just like I know that if Leo Di Caprio is in the movie, it will be a great show.
Because he always delivers.
Remember Titanic? It was the bomb! And he was just a boy then.
Everything since then has been good. I can’t think of one film he’s been in that wasn’t good.
So I just know that if it’s a Leo Di Caprio film, I’m going to be there.
He’s got ICON status and yes, he’s an ICON. He’s at the top. He’s an A-lister.
And that is exactly what you need.
If Leo said to you, “Hey, I’ve got a film coming out. It may be one of my best works ever. Do you want to come out and see it?”
If you’re a Leo fan, you’re going to go see it. I know I would.
This is what you want in your industry.
Now, people already know who Leo is. Because Leo has that trust factor. They don’t need to like Leo.
Your prospects also don’t need to like you as a person.
As a matter of fact, when you try and get people to like you, people don’t like you.
It’s annoying for people to do things to be liked.
I couldn’t care less if you like me or not.
Actually, I kind of hope you don’t like me because it’s a stronger emotion and carries more weight
If you don’t like me, you’ll tell other people about me. So I would rather you not like me.
Anger and irritation are stronger feelings than the feeling of, “Oh, I like that guy.”
Bottom line is, you don’t need people to like you.
You actually need more haters. You can be president of the United States when enough people don’t like you.
How many people vote for a president that don’t actually like him personally but just believe that he is the guy to get the job done?
How many people go out and see a movie with actors who they don’t share political beliefs with and don’t really like?
Michael Jackson, for example, with all of his accusations regarding child abuse. Super disgusting!
But people still like to get down with the song, “Billy Jean”. They still like his songs.
His personal life and whether or not you agree with his lifestyle doesn’t make his music bad.
You know that if Mike was gettin’ on the mic, he will deliver! It doesn’t matter how much you like or dislike him, he’s an ICON in his industry.
I could give you 101 more examples of this but my main goal here is to keep you away from the idea, that people have to like you.
I want to bust that myth because it’s bullshit.
Don’t even try to get people to like you. If you want to try something, get them NOT to like you.
There’s more energy in that.
But most of all, don’t worry about it.
Sometimes my students ask me if they need to try and be controversial. And I tell them, “You don’t need to try and be controversial. You already are!”
Think about this: Do you have opinions right now that are controversial? About health, money, or religion?
I’m sure you do.
The reality is that you’re just too afraid to admit it.
But if you would just quit caring about what people think of you, you’d start saying what you really think and people would start liking you for it.
Because you’ve got the balls to say what you really think.
Don’t worry about being liked anymore. It’s holding you back big time.
Worry about inspiring confidence in your product or service and about being known for that.
Just like in our fictional story with you standing on the boat with the lifesaver ring to rescue the billionaire.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is "ICONIC CAMP?"
Iconic Camp is for those of you who want to get your entire digital house in order so you can be seen as the ICON in your industry. This means your photography, videography, mindset, etc. You’ll be set up for an entire year.
If you want to come out to an Iconic Camp, I have to approve you. So you need to head on over to Straight Up Entrepreneurs which is my free Facebook group and let us know that you’re interested in Iconic Camp.
It doesn’t matter if you are working for somebody else or not. Everyone has a personal brand. Most of them are just shitty.
If you’re not sure if it’s for you, don’t hesitate to reach out. You can also check out my private Facebook group, “Brass Balls” here. This is for entrepreneurs who want high level accountability and training to gain mental toughness and reach their potential.